Water
by KingKarlajrg
Summary: That feeling, that horrible feeling when you're thirsty but there's no water around. Shikamaru wrote a letter for Temari a long time ago, but he never thought she would actually read it.
1. Friends

**A/N: Hey! This is my first Naruto fanfic, soooo, I hope you enjoy it. I've developed an obsession with a Naruto and obviously Shikatema so I had a great time writing it. **

**Summary: It's like when you're thirsty, but there's no water around. That feeling. Shikamaru wrote a letter for Temari a long time ago, but he never thought she would actually read it. Now she has choices to make. **

…

He was laying down in his usual cloud-watching spot. The wind was perfect, he felt calm, the clouds looked especially beautiful today. What could be better? He reached his pocket and grabbed one of his cigarettes, he lit it up with Asuma's lighter thinking to himself 'what if he was still alive?' Calmness left his body as sadness invaded it, he sighed and quickly brushed away that thought by taking a drag of his cigarette, even though he's still young, he prefers stronger tobacco, just like Asuma's.

His eyes started getting wet, maybe it was the smoke getting into his eyes, or maybe he just wanted to cry.

"Shikamaru," he heard a familiar voice that made him clean his tears fast. He sat down and took another drag of the cigarette before turning it off.

Choji walked up the stairs with Ino beside him.

"I told you he would be here" Ino said to Choji. They both looked back at their cloud-lover friend.

"You're smoking again," He sat down next to his friend "I thought you quit" he continued.

"I'm trying. Why are you here, anyways?" He asked.

Ino sat down next to Shikamaru too, "We're going for some barbecue, you want to come?"

Shikamaru thought about it for a moment. He wasn't really hungry and he knew they always end up splitting the bill, even if Choji eats ten times more than Ino and him, but he really wanted to join them. He has been spending more money than the usual because of his recent smoking habit. Who knew cigarettes were that expensive?

"I'll go," he said out loud "but we won't split the bill" he said as he stood up.

Choji made a worried face as Ino and Shikamaru laughed.

Team ten arrived to the barbecue place. They sat down in their usual table and started ordering. A beer to help him relax for Shikamaru, a refill soda and a beer for Choji, Ino ordered just water, she was on a diet, so that meant no soda and no beer. She looked at Choji, she was impressed at how little he cared about his weight. Maybe one day she could be like him, just eat whatever she wants, not caring about calories nor diets. Her thoughts were quickly interrupted by the waitress.

They all go their drinks and prepared to order their food. Choji was now aware that he would have to pay for everything he eats. He held himself back a little, ordering just the deluxe menu. Ino and Shikamaru ordered the normal stuff.

"So, what's been going on your life?" Ino asked to Shikamaru who was sitting in front of her.

Shikamaru took a sip of his beer and answered, "Missions, missions and more missions."

All three of them laughed. That has been their life recently, no more personal time, just work.

"Ugh, I hate it" Ino sighed, "We're still young, we should be able to work less".

Both of her teammates agreed, but deep down they knew they weren't kids anymore, and Asuma's death made that clear.

The food arrived, and as they ate, they got deeper and deeper into conversation. About life, about death, love, fears, memories and jokes. They loved talking to each other.

The dinner ended and they didn't split the bill this time. They all walked back home together, but the conversation didn't stop. They walked Ino home first since it was already dark outside.

"I think I'll never get married" Shikamaru said, continuing the conversation they were having.

"You don't know, life has its weird tricks" Ino replied. "Sometimes I end up doing the complete opposite, and I don't even know why. It's just destiny." Ino continued. She walked to her front door and opened it. "Thank you for walking me home" she said to both of their teammates as she closed the door behind her. Choji and Shikamaru went to their respective homes.

Shikamaru arrived home in which he found the mail in the ground. He picked it up and said: "I'm home" as he went through the mail. A letter for his dad, a letter for his mom, another one for his dad, another for his mom, bills, bills, a letter from her grandma and, finally, the one letter he has been waiting for.

He left the rest of the mail on the table and went as fast as he could to his room with the letter in his hands, he closed the door behind him and proceeded to open it.

_"Shikamaru, _

_My condolences. I know how special Asuma was to you. If you ever need to talk about it, you can tell me. Actually, I think I'll be going to Konoha soon, something about some documents and all that, you know how it is. In other news, I'm kind of dating a guy from Suna. They advised me it would be time to date someone since I'm the oldest and 'royalty'. I hope you can meet him soon, he's a nice guy, but too troublesome. I think you'll get along. _

_Anyways, I also wanted to thank you for being my friend. I've never really had friends. Guess we could say you're my best friend, since you're the only one. I'll wait for your letter. Hope to see you soon. _

_-Temari from the Sand."_

He carefully closed the letter and put it in his drawer with the rest of Temari's letters. They've been writing to each other for about three months now. But this letter made him feel different than the rest. Why? He didn't feel pleased with this one. The rest of them made him feel happy, hearing from her made him feel better, but this time it was different.


	2. Restless

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone that read my first chapter! Here's the second one. It's short, but I hope you like it. **

...

Shikamaru was laying on his bed, ready to sleep, wondering what was going on with all of his feelings. He stood up and took the letter from the drawer and read it again, and again, but he still felt the same. He couldn't explain it. It was a mixture of confusion, anger, sadness, it was weird. Maybe it was just tiredness. It was 2:40 am, so maybe he was just really tired. He tried to sleep, but he just tossed and turned around his bed, covering and uncovering himself, rolling, staying still, changing the pillow to the coldest side. Nothing. He couldn't sleep. His mind was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. He decided trying one more time, just one last time. Maybe if he read it out loud he would feel better, but it was late, he wouldn't do it, what if his parents woke up? How could he explain it? He wouldn't tell them he's been writing to Temari, even though they're just friends, that's not good. Perhaps, beings just friends is not good. That's it! Is it? His mind was thinking so fast. Sometimes being that smart can be a drag. There's times where he can't control what he thinks of and he can't get a grip of his thoughts. He over analyses mundane situations.

He started thinking about all of his life. When he was little, how loving and caring his mother is. The time his mother got angry at him because he broke a vase with his puncturing shadow jutsu. When he got into the academy. The crazy things he did with Naruto, Kiba and Choji. When his mom yells at his dad, and how his dad just stares at her with heart eyes and nods. Being a genin. Asuma teaching him shogi. The chunin exams. Temari. Actually becoming a chunin. Sasuke's rescue mission and the fail it was. Temari, again? Naruto leaving. Training with his dad, and the rest of team ten. Naruto being back in the village. Temari. Asuma's death.

He suddenly sat up, breathing heavily. He took one deep breath as he ran his fingers through his hair. He took another deep breath trying to calm down when he looked to the clock beside him.

'Fuck' he thought to himself. He had to wake up in 46 minutes. He laid down again. He tried to sleep again. He'd rather sleep 40 minutes than none.


	3. Her

**A/N: Here's chapter 3. Thanks to everybody that read, followed, or left a review. I hope you like this one and don't be afraid to comment any suggestions you have. Thank you!**

Time flies when you're having fun. Those 40 minutes seemed like a second for Shikamaru. How could he, the guy who's always sleeping, pull an all nighter just thinking?

He woke up to the sound of his alarm. Trying his best, he finally stood up, took a shower and changed his clothes. Shikamaru went to the kitchen, following the delicious smell of his mom's cooking. Breakfast time.

After that delicious breakfast, he went to see what were his missions for today. He took advantage of the long walk from his house to the Hokage's office to smoke a cigarette. He couldn't tell whether he liked it or not. He knew it was a stupid vice. Paying a lot of money for something that doesn't get you drunk, like alcohol. Something that doesn't make you feel better or zone out, like drugs. Something that he felt didn't released any chemicals on his brain, like sex did. It was just a horrible stench, bad breath that forced him to buy mint gum all the time, teeth sensibility, and many more downsides, but he just did it.

He arrived to Tsunade's office and waited for further instructions outside her office.

"Ugh, what is that smell?"

Shikamaru knew it was his smell.

Kiba appeared all of a sudden behind Shikamaru. He started sniffing him head to toe.

"Ew!" Kiba grabbed his nose. "You smell just like Asuma".

Sometimes Kiba can say things without thinking about the outcome those words might have. But for some reason, Shikamaru loved that last statement.

"Sorry," he said trying to hide his happiness from Kiba.

Kiba and Shikamaru were interrupted by Shizune, who gave each of them their respective mission. Kiba had to stop a manifestation in a factory near the borders of Konoha. And Shikamaru had to escort a politician back home.

Everyday was like this. Wake up, go on a mission, sleep. Wake up, missions, sleep. Wake up, missions, sleep. What a drag. It was all so monotonous now. Except for those days when her letters arrived. Those were good days.

Few days went by. Shikamaru was cleaning his room when he remembered he never answered that letter. 'Fuck'. It takes three days for the letter to arrive to Suna. He could send it now, she would receive it, but it has been almost a week since she sent hers. 'Fuck' he thought to himself again. He broke the cycle. Every third day they would receive and write a response, send it back. It was a great cycle. Even though he thought Temari would never answer the first letter he sent to her, she did, and now he just ruined their perfect synchrony. He sighed really loud and prepared his paper and pen, but no words came out. He didn't know what to write, what to say. This had never happened.

After a few failed tries, he finally decided to take some air. He head to the door and walked to a park near his house. He laid under the shadow of a huge tree and started doing the usual, admire the clouds. The birds chirping, the smell of the grass, the wind and other sounds that mixed perfectly. He closed his eyes to the euphony of his village. He focused on every sound when he heard some steps coming towards him and felt a presence sitting next to him. He slowly opened his eyes.

"Am I interrupting you?" her voice calmed him more than everything else.

Shikamaru sat down, delighted by who was sitting next to him.

"Not at all" he said with a huge smile on his face.

"I waited for your letter," she shrugged "but I assume you've been really busy."

"I wanted to write to you, but I've been feeling a little weird. I'm sorry," he looked down to the grass and started playing with it to avoid any eye contact.

"Don't be sorry," Temari said as she tried to imitate Shikamaru by playing with the grass near her. "You want to talk about it?" she asked.

Both of them looked at each other. This was his opportunity to talk about all the confusion he's been having lately. He could tell her anything, they're best friends, right?

"I'm fine. So, who are 'they'?" he asked with a smile.

Temari's green eyes looked back at him in confusion.

"The ones who advised you."

"Oh, they're two man who live in the village. They plan social strategies so they always advise my brothers and me on what would be the best move," she said "But sometimes they advise really dumb stuff." she laid down in the grass.

Shikamaru took that pause to admire her. She looked really pretty. Looking at her was so soothing for him, her eyes closed, her blonde hair against the grass making the perfect color contrast, her dress that showed how perfect her body was, her legs, those beautiful legs surrounded by her fishnets. Oh man, what is he thinking? They're just friends. You can't look at your friends with love… or lust.

Temari opened one eye to the lack of response and checked if Shikamaru was still there.

He looked directly into her eye and said, "So you don't like this new guy?"

"Actually I think do. He's kind of nice. We're really different in every way possible, but it's nice," Shikamaru started feeling the same way as he did when he read her letter. He couldn't help but to make a discomfort face, he suddenly felt the necessity to smoke, but he wouldn't do it, he knows how much she hates when he smokes.

"He's here in Konoha, you want to meet him?" she asked him as she sat up.

Absolutely not. If he feels like this just by listening her talk about him, just imagine if he sees him.

"Yes".

'Fucking stupid, why did you said yes?' He thought to himself.

"Great, let's go!" Temari stood up and led the way.


	4. Ego

**A/N: I liked this chapter a lot. I hope you like it as much as I did. Thank you to everyone that reads, follows, favourites and reviews my story, it means so much for me.**

Walking beside her feels like heaven. The smell of her perfume is a million times better than any other smell in the world. Shikamaru couldn't help but stare at her at any moment possible.

"He's supposed to be here" she said, interrupting Shikamaru's peaceful thoughts with horrible feelings.

They stopped at a nearby ninja shop. They walked inside the store and started wandering around.

"Oh, he's here," Temari waved at her boyfriend to caught his attention. She walked to him and proceeded to introduce her best friend.

Shikamaru looked at him from head to toe. His gaze was so intense that even Temari noticed it.

"Umm, this is Yuuto, he's the owner of several factories in Suna," she stood next to her boyfriend. They had to start giving out an image of a happy couple.

Yuuto smiled at Shikamaru, but he didn't smiled back. Yuuto was taller than he thought he would be. He has a beautiful smile that makes you feel like everything is going to be fine, but for some reason, Shikamaru felt the need to punch him.

"Nice to meet you," Yuuto's voice was deep yet soothing. His eyes were so warm and so blue, like he was at peace with everything. His dark hair contrasted with his pale skin, but his clothes, oh boy, they made him look really good. Everyone could notice Yuuto was in great shape.

Shikamaru could help but feel like trash next to him. Shikamaru wasn't that tall, he didn't had a beautiful smile, or warm inviting eyes, he wasn't as strong and good looking as Yuuto was. He sighed.

"Nice to meet you," he faked a smile.

"So, you're Shikamaru, right?" Yuuto said. Temari had talked about him a lot of times. Actually, most of her conversations with Yuuto are about him. "You're the best friend."

Ouch.

"Yeah, I am," Shikamaru suddenly felt a heavy weight in his heart, a knot on his throat, a weird feeling in his stomach, and the need for a cigarette.

"Temari talks a lot about you. I hope we can get along," Yuuto hugged Temari and continued, "for her."

Ugh, now Shikamaru really needed a cigarette.

"Yeah" he nodded and smiled.

He started walking outside, followed by Temari and Yuuto. Temari was sure something was going on, but she wasn't sure what it was. Shikamaru was her best friend, and she knew when things bothered him.

"I heard you're really good at shogi," Yuuto tried making conversation with Shikamaru, but failed miserably.

"He's the best," Temari said, "You should play. Yuuto is also good at it."

Shikamaru liked the challenge. In his mind, it would be a good way of proving to himself that he's as good as Yuuto.

"Too troublesome, maybe another day," Shikamaru tried playing the not interested card.

"Come on, it would be fun, and we still have like 4 hours here. You can take your time on you strategies. Or are you scared of losing, crybaby?" Temari said it in a way she knew Shikamaru would accept, he never misses a challenge to prove his intellect.

Being in the middle of two guys taller than her sure made her look defenceless, but Shikamaru knew she is the fiercest kunoichi he's met, even though she has been showing this softer side of her.

"Ok, sure," Shikamaru acceded. He would've played the not interested card longer, but those words from Temari. She really knows how his brain works.

They walked to Shikamaru's house and proceeded with the game. It was pretty satisfying watching them. The silence except for the constant tck sound the pieces made when they hit the board.

Temari was rooting for her boyfriend, but deep down, she knew Shikamaru wouldn't lose. He's the best. The game continued to the point where it got interesting, both of them were trying their best, Yuuto was indeed good, Shikamaru knew that, but he knows this game like the palm of his hand. The shogi game suddenly turned into a silent fight of egos. Yuuto wanted to prove Temari he was the best, and Shikamaru wanted to prove he was better than Yuuto.

"Done," Shikamaru said as he placed a piece in front of the king, still analysing the board. He crossed his arms and tried to look as serious as he could.

"Wow, you really are the best," Yuuto said.

Shikamaru was satisfied with his victory, but he couldn't help but feel it was one win against like five wins. He was just good at shogi, but Yuuto was good at everything.

"Well, I have to get some things from Konoha before we leave, you want to join me?" Yuuto asked Temari, who was still in shock with his win. She knows how to play shogi and that last move was out of this world. Only he could do a move like that, he really earned that genius title.

"Yeah, sure," Temari stood up.

"Great. Umm, Shikamaru," Yuuto's call forced him to stand up, "great game. It was nice meeting you. Temari, I'll wait outside," he said as he left Shikamaru's house in the most formal and cordial way.

Temari looked at Shikamaru. She loved his dark eyes, full of mystery and doubt. He wasn't an open book, he was tougher to understand. He could say one thing, but mean something completely different.

"So, what do you think?" Temari asked. Even though he was already her boyfriend, she felt the need to assure Shikamaru that his opinion was important to her.

"He's nice, not what I thought would be your type, but if you're happy, I'm happy," Shikamaru said.

Temari punched him in the shoulder and laughed, "Too cheesy," she walked to the door and continued, "Until next time, crybaby."

He watched her silhouette get smaller and smaller as she walked further. He stared at her from the entrance of his house ignoring Yuuto's silhouette, she was perfection.


	5. Jealousy

**A/N: Hello! here's my new chapter, again, small, but made in my 10 minutes of inspiration at night. Thanks to everyone that reads my story.**

Shikamaru cleaned the room they were in. He was thinking about all of the feelings he has had through the day when he thought of Ino, if anyone could help him, it would be her, she knows about this stuff. He took his vest and started running to Ino's house. He needed answers and he needed them now, or else, it would be another restless night.

He arrived to Ino's home and jumped directly to her balcony. He started knocking the window like his life depended on it. Ino opened the curtains and saw Shikamaru, she ran the door open. She knew he was desperate. he had never done this before.

"Are you busy?" Shikamaru said. Before hearing any answer from her, he walked into her bedroom.

"Sure, get in" Ino said sarcastically. She closed the window. And asked him what was going on. Ino was willing to help her friend, but she was worried, just imagine if his dad got into her room and saw her and Shikamaru. They would really have a problem, and explaining it would be near to impossible.

"I think I'm having girl problems," Shikamaru said as he sat on Ino's bed.

"Can you elaborate?" Ino asked a little bit confused.

"Yeah, like, girl problems," Shikamaru just repeated his last statement.

"Like what? Cramps, your boobs feeling heavy? Be more specific," Ino tried to keep her calm and not think about the possibility of her dad hearing a male voice in her room.

"No," Shikamaru had a really hard time trying to explain, "it's more like feelings," he stuttered. He didn't know why it was so difficult for him to talk about this.

Ino just stared at him, waiting for more explanation.

"I think I like someone," Shikamaru said, avoiding any eye contact.

Ino looked amazed by what his friend just said. Shikamaru had never shown any interest in girls, except for her when they were 8, but it was just a mild crush. Ino happened to be the first girl in Shikamaru's life besides from the girls in his family. He was never really interested in anything romantic, he was more of a one night kind of guy. This meant something big.

"So?" Ino said, "That's good news, right?"

Shikamaru looked back at Ino, and with just that one look Ino knew it wasn't good news.

"She has a boyfriend, and it's weird, I've never felt something like this before. I hate her boyfriend, but he hasn't done anything to me. He's nice, and charming, but I just don't like him. I hate when he hugs her. And the thought of him kissing her. Ugh, I-I…" he stopped. His thoughts were all over the place.

"You're just jealous," Ino sat next to him on her bed. "It's Temari, right?" she asked.

Shikamaru sighed and laid down, "it is. What a drag..."

Ino didn't say anything. Sometimes, silence is the best answer. This was an open door for Shikamaru to express.

"How can I stop being jealous? I don't like this feeling. I want to be happy for her and her relationship, but I can't. I thought seeing her with him wouldn't make me feel anything, but it did. And I know it's not her because I just want to be with her, and talk to her, listen to her complain about everything, kiss her, everything…" he paused for a second, he shrugged, sighed and then continued, "I want everything with her."

"Well, what are you doing laying in here? You should tell her how you feel" Ino tried to encourage her friend. But it wasn't that easy, in his mind he was deep down in the friend zone.

"But she doesn't feel the same way I do," Shikamaru said, "Plus, she has a boyfriend."

"Oh don't be stupid. It's a soon to be arranged marriage. She doesn't love that guy, she just pretends she does to keep an image. I think you should tell her how you feel."

Surprisingly, Ino was right. Temari wasn't sure of her relationship with Yuuto, she was just trying to help her brother Gaara, if she says no to any of the advice they give to them, Gaara would have to put up with all of the scolding from the advisors. Besides, Gaara didn't even know about Temari's crush. He wasn't aware of anything happening in her love life except for Yuuto.

Shikamaru thought for a moment, maybe a letter would be fine. That way he won't have to see Temari rejecting him face to face, or Temari wouldn't see him crying. It was perfect.

Shikamaru stood up as fast as he could and hugged Ino. For their luck, Ino's dad opened the door at that exact moment.


	6. Awkwardness

**A/N: Hello! i'm back, hope you like this chapter. I always kinda had the idea of Inoichi being this kind of dad, idk why. Thanks for reading, reviewing, etc. **

Ino's dad entered the room and just stood there. Shikamaru and Ino were hugging, it was a friendly hug, but Inoichi couldn't help but think the opposite.

Ino realised that this little action would turn into a huge conversation about bees and flowers. She quickly pushed Shikamaru away from the hug and stood up from the bed.

"Dad," was the only thing her mouth could say. She knew Inoichi would make a big deal about this scene.

"Umm, Shikamaru, I-I didn't expect you here. How's your dad?" Inoichi asked the genius boy.

"Very good, he's at home," Shikamaru answered.

Inoichi nodded and then moved to the question he first intended to do, "Oh, does he knows you're here? How did you entered? I didn't hear the door."

Shikamaru couldn't say anything incriminatory, so the balcony entrance was not an option. But lying to Inoichi, that's worse than incriminating himself. He was also aware Inoichi would eventually tell his father. Not that he was afraid of his dad or anything, but he always tried his best to make every family dinner awkward with his comments about Shikamaru's love life, or just his life, in general.

"No, I, umm, I got in from, umm, the balcony," he said shakingly and finished it up with a inaudible, "sir."

Inoichi walked closer to Ino and Shikamaru and sat in the chair near the bed. He told them to sit down, which they both did afraid of what he would say.

Ino knew her dad, this was going to turn into a conversation about sexuality, relationships, and other things her dad is uncomfortable with. She indeed felt a little embarrassed about her dad's actions, but she knew that her dad was trying his best to be a good dad, trying to be present and trying to earn her daughter's trust. She couldn't be angry.

"You know you can tell me anything," Inoichi said as he rubbed his hands against each other.

Ino and Shikamaru looked at each other. Shikamaru was so uncomfortable words couldn't even begin to explain.

"Is this, umm, a thing?" Inoichi asked trying to explain his words with his hands.

Ino was eager to find out how uncomfortable his dad could make Shikamaru. She just listened in silence and waited for Shikamaru to say something. Lowkey, this was hilarious for her. It was funny seeing him go from the funny, goofy dad he is with her, to a serious and decent man with others.

"A thing?" Shikamaru looked at Ino who didn't say anything at all, she just stared back and raised an eyebrow, as if she was inviting Shikamaru to answer the question.

Shikamaru stuttered and tried to talk, but was interrupted by Inoichi.

"Yeah, you're right. It's none of my business,"

Ino knew this was just the beginning. She prepared herself mentally not to laugh and waited for the awkwardness coming.

"I just hope you are conscious, you know, umm, protecting yourselves," This last sentence took Shikamaru for surprise. Shikamaru's face turned red and just looked at Ino, she was also red, but from hiding her laughter.

"What a drag..." Shikamaru muttered as he rolled his eyes slightly.

Inoichi continued his speech for about ten minutes, explaining the importance of preservatives and the 'talk', "[…] because if you have a baby, you'll have to get married," this last phrase from Ino's dad shocked Shikamaru. Ino burst into laugh.

"No offence, sir," he tried to stop the conversation "but I don't like your daughter in that sense, and we're not having sex, or anything related."

Inoichi felt like a heavy weight was taken away from his shoulders. He thought Shikamaru would end up liking Ino again. But he surely was relieved this was not the case, Shikamaru has earned some reputation from his one night stands with Konoha girls.

Even though he knows how uncomfortable this is for Ino, he feels the need to show her she can trust him with this talk, asking her about her missions, her feelings, and even period stuff which he doesn't even understands, but tries to.

The mood of the room changed completely, they were all laughing now from the awkwardness shown by both Shikamaru and Inoichi.

"So why are you here?" Inoichi asked Shikamaru.

"He's here for romantic advice. He's jealous, and in love," Ino responded with a little smile on her face.

"Oh, who's the lucky girl?" he asked.

"Temari" Shikamaru said quietly, almost like whispering.

Inoichi was not surprised, every time Temari arrived to Konoha, Shikamaru would either escort her, or see her. Everyone could see he acted different with her, he went from total arrogant to a complete sucker for her. They weren't aware of it, but some jonins bet with Shikaku that Temari and his son would end up together, even Shizune joined the bet. Unfortunately, Inoichi and other jonins bet Shikamaru wouldn't end up with her, they thought his flirtatious times were here to stay, and that Temari was just one of many more.

After a few hours of explaining the situation between the strategist from Konoha and the fiercest kunoichi in Suna, Ino's father was ready to give his advice. Just as Ino said, he thought he should tell her how he feels, even if he gets a no for answer, it would be better saying 'I did it' rather than 'what if I had done it?'. He would at least get all his feelings out of his chest.


	7. Feelings

Getting things out of his chest was not Shikamaru's forte. He had a big problem showing his feelings, he's working on it, but it's still too difficult for him.

After that talk with the Yamanaka family, he felt a bit inspired to do it. He quickly returned home. He greeted his parents and went directly to his room. He closed the door so that no soul would interrupt his creativity process. He thought of the letters between him and Temari and decided it, today he would write all of his feelings for her. His jealousy, his love, his desires, everything would be in that letter. He grabbed a pen and a paper, sat down and started with his duty.

"Temari,

I want to be honest with you. I've thought about this for a long time, and I've decided that I'm tired of hiding my feelings. You know I've always had a problem with it, but now I know, I'm jealous.

I'm jealous of the way you look at him. I'm jealous of the way you hold his hand. I'm jealous of how perfect he is and how insignificant and lame I am compared to him. I'm jealous because it should be me.

I know I'm your best friend, and I know this will change everything between us, but how can I be just a friend if I would give my life for you. I wish all those hugs, all that touching was more than just friendly. Every time you're in Konoha, makes me feel calm. But when you leave, it's like that feeling, that horrible feeling of being thirsty and not having any water around. I need you.

I love every single thing about you. I love your silhouette, the scent of your hair and the way you run your fingers through your bangs when you're nervous, your eyes, the beautiful sound your laugh makes and I even love when call me crybaby at any given chance.

When you're not with me, I can't stop thinking about you. I hope you can understand me. I'm sorry.

-Shikamaru"

He didn't gave it a second read, he just poured his heart out and hoped for the best. He searched for an envelope and sealed it and with it, he sealed his destiny. Nothing could stop him from sending this letter, except himself.

After sealing it, he looked at the envelope and imagined at least fifty different scenarios in his head. He started getting anxious and that was it. He decided to leave the letter in a drawer inside a folder from the Hokage's office he had laying around, that way no one could find it. If he ever send that letter, it would be when he was ready to deal with at least half out of those fifty imaginary scenarios.


	8. Distance

**A/N: sorry for not uploading, i've been very busy with college, but here it is. Hope you enjoy it.**

A few weeks went by since Shikamaru wrote the letter. Every day that went by he thought whether he should send it or not. All of his feelings were in that letter, and he had solved just eight out the fifty possible outcomes.

The day went by normally, just like any other day. He woke up to the sound of his alarm, showered, ate breakfast, and went on a mission. Some days he would find the perfect moment for a smoke, Shikamaru wasn't addicted yet to smoking, he just did it when he felt really pressured. The taste of the tobacco relaxed him, like if Asuma was telling him to keep calm.

Shikaku was suspecting about his son's new toys. He found a pack of cigarettes in his room, but Shikamaru denied it, saying they weren't his. And of course, the stench of the cigarettes is strong and very recognisable. Every now and then, Shikamaru would get home and the house would get impregnated with that distinctive smell. Shikaku wanted to warn his son about the dangers of smoking, but he knew Shikamaru wasn't stupid. He was big and smart enough to know what he was getting into. He knows Shikamaru decides to ignore it.

Shikamaru arrived home from the mission and checked the mail. Temari wrote him again. He did the same thing as the usual, left every other letter where he found them and proceed to read Temari's in his bedroom. This time, she wrote about her brothers and how they always fight, but how much she loves them both. She also explained her duties in some classes she has been giving in Suna. Hearing from her was good, until he read Yuuto. She wrote about Yuuto in her letter and this obviously made Shikamaru jealous. He knew he could be spontaneous and send his letter to her, but he couldn't be like that, he had to analyse each and every possible scenario to choose his best option. He decided to just answer the letter with some trivial conversation. He asked her about her brothers, and also about the weather lately in Suna. He also wrote things about him, like his latest mission, what it was about and how it was.

Several months went by and the letters between Temari and Shikamaru became even more banal. They talked about really insignificant things.

Temari was feeling Shikamaru more distant than the usual. She has been trying really hard to get the old Shikamaru to write her, but it was almost impossible, Shikamaru's answers were very simple and plain, like if he was bored of talking with her. She felt powerless, she was losing the person she loved the most, and she couldn't do anything about it. She wasn't sure if it was her who did something wrong.

Shikamaru decided to keep his distance. He was trying to avoid all the pain from being rejected. He was getting ahead of the situation and overthinking everything. But this was Temari, he was trying not to mess this up and thought of every word he wrote, he even read his letters twice just to be sure he was saying the right thing. Unfortunately, Shikamaru's planned answers rubbed Temari the wrong way, making her feel more left out and distant.

Temari was full of doubts. She liked Yuuto a lot, he was more than she could ask for, but she didn't feel complete. Yuuto was lacking something. Plus, she couldn't stop thinking about Shikamaru and all their good and bad moments. That genius boy really got into her head.

Temari was in her room cleaning her kunai knives, when Gaara knocked.

"Come in," she said, as she kept on cleaning knives.

"Just to remind you, we have an important dinner in two days. I hope you didn't forget" Gaara said jokingly. He was sure Temari forgot about that dinner. She has been very distracted lately.

"Oh, you're right," she said.

Gaara started walking out of the door when he was stopped by his sister's voice.

"Gaara, umm, do you have a minute?" Temari asked her brother. She stopped cleaning her knives and sat on her bed. "I-I…" Temari stuttered. She wasn't ready to talk about her feelings. Plus, she wasn't sure if she really liked Shikamaru or if it was more of a whim. "I don't know what to wear for the dinner," she stopped herself.

Gaara wasn't sure about Temari's questions. Was she for real?

"I don't know, formal, a dress? You should ask someone else," he laughed then left the room. He closed the door behind him and couldn't help but wonder about his sister's question.

As the door closed, Temari was left sitting on her bed, thinking about him.


	9. Arrangement

**A/N: Thanks to everyone that reads my story, it means a lot to me. **

Tomorrow is the dinner event in Suna. Temari had already decided what she was going to wear, she had no time to think about this dinner. She was too busy working on the future chunin exams. Temari was in her office checking some documents when she realised she was missing some documents from various places, one of those places was Konoha. This simple thing reminded her of that dark-eyed beauty, but those thoughts were quickly brushed away by the feeling those last letters gave to her. They were so cold and calculated she couldn't even respond the last one he sent. Everything he wrote felt pre-meditated in comparison to the first letters they ever sent to each other. Besides, he was the one who started the letter sending tradition.

Temari could still remember that first letter. How she could sense his nervous traces with the pen. The words he said were so different, more human.

Temari finished all her paperwork and made a request for the documents she was missing in each different village. She thought of going directly to Konoha because she knew it would be him who would give her the documents, she would have to face him and force herself to accept what she's been denying for so long. But no, she had a boyfriend now, and she was doing what was best for her family and Suna, the advisors were never wrong. Maybe.

The gala dinner day finally came. Influential people from Suna were at the Kazekage's house. Gaara and Kankurō looked especially good wearing suits. Temari wore a black fitted kimono dress that made her look dreamy. The rest of the guests were wearing similar attires. Factory owners, people involved in the government, it was a vip night.

Everyone was having a good time, except for Kankurō, he was not used to wearing a suit. He felt constricted by it, he wanted to rip it off, but he didn't, he had to look like if he was pure royalty.

Dinner time arrived and everyone took their seats. Gaara was in the head of the table, followed by Kankurō on his left and Temari on his right, who was sitting next to Yuuto. This dinner was organised by Gaara and the advisors in order to celebrate Suna's peace. Now Suna was a great place for investment and extreme tourism. It seemed like everyone liked fighting giant scorpions and other weird creatures you could only find in Suna.

After Gaara's brief toast, Yuuto decided to make an announcement. He stood up from his chair and gently tapped the side of his glass with a spoon and proceeded.

"I would like to make an announcement," Yuuto stopped tapping the glass. All eyes were now on Yuuto, "Many of you know the women next to me," he briefly turned his eyes to Temari and continued, "And as many of you know, we've been dating for almost a year now, and let me tell you, she's the most amazing girl."

Temari couldn't help but think about what was coming next. She knew this marriage would be a beneficial arrangement for someone.

"Temari," Yuuto kneeled as he reached his pocket for the ring. He showed a huge diamond ring and continued, "Will you marry me?"

Temari was shocked. She liked Yuuto, but she was absolutely not ready for marriage. Besides, she couldn't stop thinking about her crybaby. She felt pressured by all the looks, Gaara was there, if she said no, she could affect his position as Kazekage. Yuuto was pretty influential in all commerce in Suna. If Yuuto gets angry at her, he might do some changes in Suna's imports and then Gaara would have to deal with all of this. So many things going through her head.

"Yes," she said. In the end, Suna is everything to her. Yuuto hugged her, but she wasn't giving the same energy as Yuuto was.


	10. Girls

**A/N: Here's the next chapter, hope you like it. thanks to everyone that reads and reviews3**

The day after the event, Temari refused to leave her office. She needed a lot of thinking time and a lot of advice. She had really messed everything up now. She had to get rid of all this confused feelings with Shikamaru, otherwise it would be bad for her relationship with Yuuto.

Her thought were interrupted by one of the shinobi from the sand.

"Temari-san, Sakura from Konoha is here to revise the documents you're missing," the shinobi said, still standing on the door.

Temari completely forgot about those documents. Everyone from the different villages would be coming today to check what was missing and then give it to Suna's leaders.

Temari nodded as an indication for Sakura's welcome. This was a good chance to discreetly take information out of Sakura on Shikamaru.

After a few minutes, the pinkette arrived with a smile on her face. She greeted Temari and went directly to the job part. They started checking on what documents Suna had on Konoha and what they were missing. Sakura suggested Temari to go for the documents to Konoha, saying that it would be a great chance to see everyone again.

Temari took this opportunity and started asking about everyone's life. First, Naruto, then, Rock Lee, next, Kiba, also Neji, and then, the only one she deeply cared about, Shikamaru.

"Oh, he's fine. He's actually on an important mission right now, that's why I'm here and not him. But he's been really focused lately. It seems like he's addicted to his job," Sakura said as her hands searched through mountains of papers.

"Good, that's cool," she said. Temari was surprised on how fast Shikamaru forgot her. They went from something beautiful to total strangers.

Sakura never found some papers Temari was looking for, so that meant Konoha had to send them. Temari got excited at the slight chance of Shikamaru being sent to Suna to give her the documents.

"So, Shikamaru will come to give me the documents?" Temari asked, trying to make it seem like it was all professional and anything personal at all.

"I don't think so. He's been very busy, but it all depends on his schedule," Sakura responded as she finished writing the list of the missing documents. She then picked up all of her stuff and started walking towards the door.

"Sakura," Temari said, interrupting Sakura's walk to the door, "Could you do me a favour?" she asked.

Sakura nodded and Temari continued with her request.

"Tell him I'm getting married."

Sakura looked surprised. Nobody in Konoha knew about this, not even Shikamaru who seemed to know everything about Temari's life. This was top secret and she was the one carrying the news.

"What? With who?" Sakura asked. It was for her mere pleasure of knowing more rather than to tell Shikamaru.

"Just tell him that, please," Temari finished talking and turned around, she kept on organising the documents and the folders from the Kages. Sakura had no other option than to leave. She was aware she wouldn't get any more information out from Temari. This was it for this mission.

Temari wanted to see if Shikamaru made at least one last attempt on talking to her, visiting her, or at least writing her before she got married. She was aware maybe this was it for her dreams. She was messing everything up.


	11. Truth

**A/N: this chapter is one of my favs, i really think of kankuro as a bisexual idk why. anyways, hope you like this chapter, thanks for reading**

After finishing checking the documents with the respective villages representatives, Temari was finally able to clean up her office without someone showing up again. She started by organising the files and folders from the Kages and the villages, then she moved on to her desk, she put away everything that was on top of it except for the important stuff she needed up and her decorations. She dusted her bookshelves and cleaned the floor. This was making her feel good, she was distracted from all the stuff in her head by cleaning. She was trying so hard to avoid her thoughts that she even cleaned some things twice. Every little spot of dirt was being wiped away like her thoughts.

Temari was so distracted with all her cleaning that she didn't notice Kankurō was standing next to her.

"You missed a spot," Kankurō said as he observed his sister snap out of her hypnosis like state.

Temari looked at her brother, and then kept on cleaning, even the spot her brother told her to.

"You know? I always thought you were selfish," Kankurō said as he searched for a place to sit. Temari just stared at him, but didn't say anything, she just kept on cleaning, "But this that you're doing for us, that's too much," Kankurō settled on a small sofa his sister had in her office.

Temari stopped her cleaning completely. She wasn't sure where her brother was trying to go with this conversation. She sat down in her office chair, behind her desk and focused all her attention on his words.

"And with all this, I realised marriage is not about love," he stopped for a second to lay down on the sofa, "it's more of a political contract," he continued.

Temari was now sure this was all about her decision. She thought of stopping him, but she wanted to know what else her brother had to say related to her marriage.

"You're not selfish at all. Marrying someone you don't love for the sole purpose of helping Suna and its people, I underestimated you," he said. His words were surely piercing through Temari's heart. Kankurō knows her.

"I do love him," she paused and looked away from where her brother was, "I'm just confused,"

Both Temari and Kankurō sighed.

"No, you're not," Kankurō stood up from the sofa and made his way to the door. Temari looked at him astonished, "You know what you want, but you're just being stupid,"

"Excuse me!?" Temari also stood up from her chair and walked towards her brother. They were both now face to face.

"Tem, don't guide your life in stupid and ancient rules made by our ancestors. You don't have to marry someone influential from Suna, and if you're doing this for us, don't," Kankurō said as he grabbed his sister from the shoulders.

"I'm not doing anything for you," she took Kankurō hands off of her shoulders, "I told you, I want to marry Yuuto. Feeling a little bit confused after engaging is something normal," Temari tried to defend herself from what her brother was saying.

"Yeah, sure, and those one-day trips to Konoha that you turned into a whole weekend vacation were also 'normal',"

Temari looked at Kankurō very startled. He was right, she always prolonged her stay in Konoha just to spend more time with him. He was leaving her defenseless and tearing all her walls. Kankurō was trying really hard to open his sister's eyes and he felt he was succeeding with the duty.

"I told you, I was doing things," Temari was still trying to avoid all of her feelings. She was sure Shikamaru doesn't love her that way. Shikamaru was always having some kind of affair with different girls in Konoha. Temari was sure that he didn't make a move on her because of him seeing her more like a sister rather than a girlfriend material.

"Yeah, and those 'things' play shogi," Kankurō opened the door from her sister's office and started walking away. After a few seconds of loneliness, Kankurō returned and finished his duty by saying, "I think Shikamaru is sexier than Yuuto," he winked at her sister with a smile on his face and this time, he left for real.

Temari was left again in her office. Repeating in her head the conversation she just had. Kankurō was right, all this marriage thing was just for Suna. She was a victim of the political contracts he was talking about. She wasn't confused, she was sure she loved the genius boy from Konoha a long time ago, but she pushed away those feelings. She was blinded by the rules and the advisors Suna had. She had always dreamed of a life next to Shikamaru, but she knew that would be so complicated. She was aware that many of the people of Suna would think Konoha was behind something. Being part of the royal and political environment was very stressful.

After a few days, Temari was still confused. The day of the wedding would be now decided along the guest list and other related things. She was sitting at the conference room with Yuuto and the advisors from Suna.

"I think we should do it in winter," Yuuto said, as he checked the calendar.

"I don't like the idea. I think autumn is better for a wedding, not to hot, not too cold," one of the advisors said, as he wrote things on a paper.

"Plus, I believe more guests would come to the wedding," the other advisor said. Yuuto just accepted what they were suggesting, he knew that when those advisors said something, it was because it was going to be done. In the end, that wedding wasn't only Yuuto and Temari. It was the union of one of the wealthiest families in Suna and the Princess. It was a huge deal.

"What do you think?" Yuuto looked at Temari who wasn't even paying attention at all. She was just staring blankly at the table and playing with a pencil she had on her hands.

"Uh, yeah, it's okay," she said then continued lost in her own mind.

Yuuto and the advisors continued with the guest list. Since it was going to be something big, they knew they had to do it in the biggest place, they had to have a lot of guests and all the Kages invited. The wedding of the year, they started calling it.

"Maybe we could invite the less fortunate," one of the advisors suggested. By the less fortunate he meant the poorest people from Suna, "It could be seen as the new couple being inclusive and inviting everyone,"

"I like that idea," Yuuto said as he nodded his head slowly. He then turned to Temari who was still lost on her thoughts, "Temari, what do you think?"

Temari scratched her head in wonder, she wasn't sure what they were talking about. She looked back at Yuuto and said the perfect response, "Whatever you like is fine for me," she said, then stood up from the chair, she walked to the door and opened and ended the meeting by saying, "I have to go," and leaving. She knew leaving in the middle of the meeting was rude, but she couldn't stand another second listening to them preparing what was supposed to be prepared by only her and Yuuto.

Yuuto stayed in the conference room with the advisors who soon started talking about the incident.

"She isn't interested in you," one of them said, as he saved the papers and the pens where they belonged.

Yuuto stayed silent.

"You have to make her be interested, otherwise the plan won't work. Understand?" Both of the advisors stood up from their chairs and walked through the door, finishing the one end conversation,

Yuuto was left alone inside there. He was thinking about everything the advisors had told him since he met them. He had to make a hard decision, either betray one side, or betray the other side. Both of them meant trouble.

Yuuto walked through the hallways of the huge Kazekage palace. It was full of history, it had pictures, sculptures, replicas, it was like a museum. There were so many doors, so many choices, but in the end, he chose the door he thought was the best one.

"Temari?" Yuuto knocked on her office door.

Temari opened the door slowly. He knew she would be in there, whenever she gets stressed she likes to stress even more by working. She didn't say anything, she just let Yuuto into her office and walked to her chair, she sat down and waited for what he had to say.

"I'm going to ask you directly, do you really want to get married with me?" Yuuto asked.

Temari looked at him, expressionless, she was ready to lie again and convince herself to do this for Suna.

"I do," she said.

"Don't lie," he answered.

"I do," she repeated, "I want to marry you. Marrying you is a good choice, it would give Suna a better future, Gaara would trust me more, everyone would be happy,"

"Except for you," he said, almost whispering, "After a year of dating, I've learned to love you, but you have to learn how to demonstrate your feelings. Plus, it was all a plan from the advisors to dominate you," he sighed and looked down to the floor like he was ashamed.

Temari didn't say anything now, she again, waited for what he had to say.

"They say women shouldn't be that powerful. They think that if you keep on the road you're going, you'll become a Kazekage. You're on the same level that Gaara is in terms of strength, this scares those misogynist bastards. They think women shouldn't be in line for high ranking positions such as this one. That's why they hired me to marry you, and control you. They want Gaara in power because he's softer than you, and he's more likely to lend them more power than they should," Yuuto shrugged and kept on with his confession, "But I don't want this for you. Marrying me is giving the advisors more power. You should be happy, I'll just move on with my life, and you know, whatever you need, I'll be here for you,"

Yuuto kissed Temari's forehead as a sign of goodbye, he was ready to move on with his life, but still try to improve Suna's economy. He hated arranged marriages because his parents were one of those, they hated each other, but they couldn't divorce. He wanted to marry someone who loved him a hundred percent, and not just by any agreement made by third parties.

Temari wasn't sure how to react to that confession. She felt all kinds of emotions. She wanted to punch those advisors in the nose, and she also wanted to hug Yuuto for being so nice to her. Everything she was worried about was being solved by this man. She felt a relief in her chest, her body felt lighter and she even felt the need to cry. Kankurō and Yuuto were right, she didn't had to ruin her life for Suna, eventually, it'll all work out. She was sure she was able to get what Suna needed in her own terms. As those advisors said, she was powerful and strong.


	12. Issues

After Sakura's short trip to Suna for the documents, it was now Shikamaru's turn to collect all they needed and send it back. Sakura decided to help him and prepare everything, signing papers and filing paperwork. The chunin exams were too troublesome to deal with. After several hours of work, Shikamaru suggested a recess from the stress. Sakura and him went to a little kitchen space the Hokage's building had, they prepared each other some tea and started talking about what was needed to be done. Both of them were standing up next to the now turned off stove.

"I'll take the files home, I can't stay here any longer, I'll tell the ANBU to pick them up at my place" Shikamaru said as he sipped a little bit of his tea.

"If you want I can tell the ANBU. I have some work to do, but I think I'll be free in the afternoon," Sakura said. She wasn't meant to do any of the things she was doing for the chunin exams, but she was happy to help. Learning new things was her way of trying to be more useful. Shikamaru accepted Sakura's help.

Shikamaru had been trying to forget about his crush on Temari since he didn't send that letter, he lowered his tobacco consumption to just one a month, exercised, and worked more. He liked this amount of job he was receiving, getting a better job position was his main focus with this chunin exams. It would be good to get rid of that fuckboy reputation he earned a year ago, and to forget about her. He left his tea cup on a counter and started walking again to the office, Sakura followed what he did with a few seconds of delay.

When both of them arrived to the office, Shikamaru started to save the files he was going to take home. Sakura had been trying to tell him about Temari's marriage for a day now, but she couldn't feel it was the right time to do it.

Shikamaru and Sakura walked to the door together as they talked about Suna and for instance, Temari and her brothers. Shikamaru was trying to keep it cool.

"Temari is getting married," Sakura said. Shikamaru stopped walking and stared at her for a moment, his facial expression changed from keeping it cool to broken. Shikamaru pressed his jaw so hard that his jawline looked like it was about to explode. He gulped and then kept on walking.

"Good for her," he walked faster and faster with the files still on his hand. He was trying to get home as quickly as he could before his brain blasted from the news he had just received.

Sakura tried calling his name, but was completely ignored. He didn't stop walking and Sakura just stopped following him, she just looked at Shikamaru fade into the crowd of people. She took a deep breath and hoped her friend would be fine.

Shikamaru kept on walking as fast as he could. He tried looking as normal as he could, but his body language was too noticeable, everyone could see something was wrong with him.

Shikamaru arrived home, he didn't said anything to his family and just went directly to his room. He closed his door and left the files in his drawer. He started breathing heavily, there were so many emotions going on. He clenched his fists, then he decided to let it go, he broke down. He released his clenching and all of a sudden his strength left his body. He ended up on his knees, just staring at his floor. He couldn't comprehend why was she getting married. She didn't even tell him about this marriage, but how could she, they hadn't talked in a long time, it was his fault. And every thought just went back to one, why didn't he send that letter? It would all be different now. Ino's dad was right, the 'what if' was an awful thought.

Shikamaru stopped his thinking session when he heard a knock on his door.

"Are you okay?" the voice of Shikamaru's mom went through the door.

Shikamaru stood up and sat on his bed. The only noise he was able to get out of his system was a simple, "Aha,"

"Whatever you need I'll be downstairs,"

He started searching in his clothes for his cigarettes as he heard his mom's footsteps get even further.

He found them in his vest, next to Asuma's lighter. He stared at that lighter for about ten minutes, remembering his teacher and thinking of the advice he would give him. He always had the best advice, and he understood him like no one else did. Even though it had been almost two years since he died, he really missed him. Everything was crumbling apart.

Shikamaru didn't open his door until very late at night. He decided to sneak out to smoke a little bit. He grabbed his trusty cigarettes and lighter, put them in his pocket and started walking towards the door. He was afraid his parents would catch him sneaking out, but it was a need, he needed to smoke.

He opened the front door quietly and closed it the same way. He started walking to the park near his house that he always goes, he sat down on the grass and started. He lit his cigarette up and took the first drag of it, as soon as he felt the tobacco hit his throat, he calmed down. He really missed that rough feeling in his lungs. He told himself it would be just one, but when he finished his first one, he felt the need for another one. He thought of it for a few seconds and then surrendered to his needs. He ended up smoking seven, and as he was thinking of lighting the eight one, he remembered he actually sneaked out of his house to feed his vice. He had to go back, it was almost dawn, otherwise, he would be in trouble.

Shikamaru put his cigarettes and lighter in his pocket and threw away his garbage. He started heading back home, he walked fast. He arrived home and opened the door the same way he did when he sneaked out, quietly. He closed it, turned around and there he was. The only person he didn't want to run into.

"Where were you?" Shikaku asked. He had his arms crossed and he was standing firmly with a serious face.

"I went for a walk," he said. Shikamaru couldn't bring himself to look directly into his father's eyes, lying to him was so awful.

Shikaku nodded slowly in disbelief. He could smell the horrible stench from the cigarettes from moment his son walked into the house. He wasn't as smart as he had thought.

"Go to sleep. You have work to do tomorrow," Shikaku said as he left his son alone in the entrance.

Shikamaru knew he wasn't fooling his dad, he was too smart to buy that crappy answer he gave, but he took it as a win. He walked back to his room and slept.

The next morning, Shikamaru overslept, but didn't cared. He was feeling a bit down from yesterday's events. His mom prepared him breakfast as usual, but he just ate half of it. He walked to where he would get his mission for today, but was walking slower than normal. He really didn't want to do anything today. He received his mission and proceeded to complete it, good thing it was an easy mission today. Just helping some elders move their furniture to their new home. He finished his mission in no time and went straight home, usually he would take another one or help someone else, but not this time, he didn't feel like it.

He arrived home and there was no soul in there. He took this time to go to his backyard and smoke two or three cigarettes. He was relaxed and zoned out when he suddenly heard someone at the door. He grabbed the cigarettes butts in put them in the garbage in less than five seconds. He opened the door and there was an ANBU. He totally forgot he had to give them the documents for Suna. He told the ANBU to wait and went into his room. He had forgotten where he had placed them, his memories were completely blank when out of nowhere they came back to him. He opened his drawer and grabbed everything that looked like a document on a folder in there and gave it to the ANBU. Those documents would arrive to Suna two and a half days from now.

After the ANBU left, his mom arrived. His opportunity for another cigarette was now gone.

The next day, Shikamaru woke up earlier than yesterday, but couldn't bring himself to stand up from his bed until very late. He took a shower and ate his breakfast, half, again. He was walking in the streets of the village when it hit him like a bus. His brain was craving tobacco. He took out his pack of cigarettes and started feeling a little anxious, he only had two more left. He needed to buy another one.

Before going to check what missions he had for today, he stopped at a nearby store for supplies. One pack of twenty cigarettes, twenty two in total with the ones he had left. He smoked one on his way to the Hokage's and then proceeded with his life normally.

This time, the mission was a little bit harder. There were some gang related problems near the Konoha border and he and another shinobi had to stop them before they gave their village trouble.

It was late at night, Shikamaru and the rest of the team finished with those gang members and sent them to prison for causing trouble. He was walking back home when his pace started to get slower and slower, he took out his cigarettes and started smoking one, then another one, then another. He arrived home and threw the cigarette butts in the outside garbage. He entered his house and took a shower before saying anything else to his parents.

They had a simple and quiet dinner, Shikaku was noticing that the smoking was more often that what he used to.

Shikamaru went to sleep and the next morning he overslept, again. He was getting tired of working now. He just wanted to do nothing, stare at the clouds and be with her, but he wasn't able to do that now. He settled with just watching the clouds. He went to the top of a hill and laid down. He took out his pack of cigarettes, started smoking and watching the clouds. He felt good, but not relaxed. His thoughts bombarded him every now and then, he felt stupid for not giving Temari that letter, he felt lazier than the usual, so much that he didn't show to work that day, he didn't feel good enough to complete any task.

After several hours, he realised it was now dark. He picked up everything and checked his cigarette pack, he had only three more left. Usually a pack of twenty lasts him longer, but this time, a day was enough to finish most of it.

He walked back home, opened the door and found his parents about to have dinner.

"Sit down," Shikaku said, he was sitting down at the dinner table next to his wife.

Shikamaru obeyed his father. This time, he didn't have any time to shower, so all that stench from the tobacco was all over the house. Shikamaru couldn't notice the smell as he had gotten used to it.

"You didn't show up to work today," Shikaku said and then started eating his rice.

"No, umm, I—" Shikamaru said before he was interrupted by his father.

"I don't want another crappy answer," he kept on eating.

The dinner table stayed silent except for the casual sound of the plates and chopsticks. Shikamaru's mom broke the silence, "We're worried about you,"

Shikamaru stopped eating and gulped the rest of the food he had on his mouth. He looked at his mom and said, "You don't need to, I'm fine,"

"No, you're not," Shikaku said. He also stopped eating and then focused on the conversation with his son.

"I am," Shikamaru started to raise his voice a little bit.

"I know you," Shikaku stayed calm.

"You don't know me at all. I told you I'm fine," Shikamaru yelled as he stood up from the dinner table. Shikaku stood up too.

"I know you enough to know that you're smoking, do you care to explain that?" Shikaku raised his voice.

Shikamaru just looked at his father. He was feeling angry, he knew his parents were just trying to help him, but he couldn't control the anger he felt inside.

"No! It's my life. I don't need to explain anything to you,"

He knew his son would eventually break. Shikaku hadn't seen his son cry since Asuma's death, he knew he had been bottling up all of his emotions, and Shikaku realised what he needed to do. He remembered when Shikamaru was a kid, whenever he used to get angry, he always pushed him to a point where he would cry and let all those feelings out. Even thought his son always gave that relaxed and not interested vibe, he was actually very emotional.

"I am your father, and as long as you live under my roof, you live under my rules. That means no more sneaking out," Shikaku stood tall as a sign of superiority, "And if I tell you to explain something, you must explain,"

Shikamaru was feeling a knot on his throat, but he couldn't let his dad see him cry. This was a man's fight.

"What is with that reputation that you've earned, huh!? The fuckboy, What is that!?" Shikaku yelled to his son.

Shikamaru started breathing heavily and said nothing. Shikaku knew this was the breaking point.

"I-I," his son stuttered and then, tears came. Shikamaru started crying. His father's job was done here.

"We're here for you. You don't need to go through anything by yourself," Shikamaru's mother stood up and hugged his son.

"I felt so empty, I thought I would fill that emptiness by having sex with every girl I could," he said sobbing, "and I ended up feeling so alone, and I don't know why. Asuma is dead, and Temari won't talk to me because I ruined everything with her," he kept telling his story as he hugged his mom as tight as he could.

"You're not alone. You shouldn't try to fill any emptiness or get rid of your loneliness by any vice. In the end, you won't be able to fill it with anything," she shed a tear and kept going, "You should be able to feel good by yourself and not by the help of sex or cigarettes, not even by the help of Temari,"

Shikamaru continued sobbing as he held his mom. Her hugs felt like everything was going to be solved, he could hear her heartbeat and that was the most soothing sound ever. He took a deep breath, let go of his mom and continued talking to his parents.

"That year I was having a lot of issues with my self esteem, and I thought I could use fake emotional closeness to solve those issues, but it just didn't work out. I felt bad with myself, and I needed the constant appreciation from the other girls to feel good, but that wasn't love," his voice started to crack, he shed one last tear and kept going, "I sent a letter to Temari, because, I don't know, I just missed her, and I realised that I want to be with her. And I kind of knew it because my first plan was to just have something carnal with her and then leave, but I couldn't. Her smile was just everything to me, and she's so strong and I didn't want to hurt her feelings," he continued, "And when Asuma died, it all came back to me. That feeling of not being good enough, a lot of guilt and, just, I don't know, bad things. It was too much, and smoking makes me feel he's here, but, now it's more of a whim and an addiction than his memory," Shikamaru sat down on the floor and just stared blankly at it.

Both of his parents proceeded to have a really long and extended talk about everything that was going on with him. Shikamaru knew how lucky he was to have such supportive parents.

As they kept on talking about Shikamaru's feelings, his thoughts, his fears, and everything that was tormenting his son, he realised something really important.

"Oh no," he said silently.

His parents looked at him confused.

"I think I made a huge mistake. I need to go to Suna," Shikamaru said with his eyes wide open.

"What? What are you talking about?" his mom asked.

"I think I gave the ANBU the letter I wrote for Temari like a year ago," he stood up from the floor and ran to the door, "I don't want anyone related to politics to read that letter,"

He ran outside his house and headed straight to Suna, leaving both of his parents in confusion.


	13. Choices

**A/N: This is almost the last chapter. Thanks to everyone that reviews, favourites, follows or reads my story. I really like Kankuro in this last chapters, i hope you like him too.**

A lot of things were going through Temari's head. She was now aware of everything the advisors told Yuuto. She wasn't sure why Yuuto told her all those secrets, but she was really thankful about it.

The next thing she had to do was tell Gaara.

"Gaara," she knocked his door.

Gaara was in his office. Being the Kazekage really keeps him busy, and luckily he was talking to the advisors. It was now Temari's turn to spill everything out.

Gaara made Temari to come in. She walked into the office with great confidence, so much that she didn't even look at the advisors or greet them.

Temari approached Gaara and said silently, "We need to talk,"

Gaara looked at her in confusion, but followed her outside.

In the hallway, Temari continued, "The advisors are trying to get me to marry Yuuto because they want to manipulate you. They think that you're softer, and that you'll lend them more power, and that I'm getting on the way of that plan,"

Gaara stayed expressionless, "Source?" He asked.

"Yuuto," she answered.

Gaara just soaked all the information in and nodded slowly. After a few seconds of thinking, he just said, "Follow me,"

They walked into the office again, and closed the door behind them. Gaara sat in his office chair as Temari just stood next to him. The advisors were still sitting down.

"We're cancelling the marriage," Gaara said. That fast choice was made blindly. He knew there was a possibility his sister was exaggerating, but Kankurō also told him a similar thing, and lately, she's been really weird, and maybe this was it. Gaara couldn't miss that chance.

Both of the advisors looked at each other in disbelief and laughed. Temari and Gaara continued with a serious face.

"It's a joke, right?" one of the advisors asked.

"No, it's not. That wedding is not happening," he said as he stood up from his chair. He walked to the door and opened it, "Actually, I've had enough. You're both fired," he said as he held the door for them.

The advisors stood up and looked at Temari. One of them took a kunai knife out, pointed it at her and said, "you're gonna regret this," the other advisor just stared at Gaara who was still holding the door for them, he started walking outside the office and called the other advisor who was still holding the kunai knife.

The one with the kunai knife looked at Gaara, then started walking to where he was. He then threw the kunai knife to Temari, who dodged it like a professional, and then he left. Gaara finally closed the door, leaving both siblings alone.

Temari and Gaara took a deep breath and sighed. Temari ran to her brother and hugged him like she had never done it before. She thought Gaara was behind the whole marriage plan, she thought he had done it as a way of improving Suna's economy.

"I'm sorry," Gaara said to his sister as he also held her in his arms.

"No, don't worry. I thought we were doing this marriage thing for Suna's development, but no," Temari said as she separated from her brother.

"No. I'm sorry for not being present. I should've know, or at least notice you weren't happy with this decision. Before being the Kazekage, I was your brother," he said.

"I just wanted you to be proud of me," she said as she started to cry.

"I am proud of you, I've always been," he answered as he approached to hug his sister.

Temari was happy with this outcome. Her wedding was cancelled. And hopefully, those advisors wouldn't get in their way again. She really had to thank Yuuto for telling her everything. Even though she wouldn't like to get married with him, she would still love having him in her life, he is a nice person.

After that conversation with her brother, she still needed to do some work. She was hoping Shikamaru would come to Suna to give her the documents. It would be the perfect timing, she was not engaged anymore, and she would now have the courage to tell him everything, the only problem was the possibility of Shikamaru not liking her back. Once again, she would put out her feelings and get rejected. It had happened to her two times now, that's why she settled with the whole dating whoever is best for Suna and all their royalty rules.

Temari went to her office and started arranging all the papers that had arrived, she ordered them in a way she would know if a document is missing or if it's doubled. Several hours went by, it was about to go dark when a shinobi from Suna arrived with an ANBU next to him. Temari took the documents from the ANBU and thanked him. This was it, the strategist from Konoha was not coming, she opened the files one by one and started arranging them. They were all there, but there was one document she didn't know where it belonged. It was a red Hokage folder with Konoha's seal. She was confused. She had ordered the villages to put the documents in different coloured folders so that she would be able to put them where they belonged easily, but this type of folder wasn't requested. Her curiosity was that much that she ended up opening it. There was an envelope inside it, it looked like money, maybe a letter, could be anything. After a few seconds of thought, she decided to open the envelope too, revealing a letter. Temari saw who it was from, she took a deep breath and closed the door with the letter still on her hands, she sat down on her chair. She saw the date and thought it was a mistake, but she proceeded to read it out loud anyways:

"Temari," she said, almost whispering.

She continued reading quietly, but at some points, her voice would get loud enough to hear a small whisper-like sound.

"I'm jealous," her eyes widened, she kept on reading, "I'm jealous because it should be me," her eyes started to water and her hands began to shake, "I need you," Temari left out a small squeak and started crying, she placed her hand on her mouth to keep any sound from coming out and finished reading the letter, "I'm sorry,"

Temari couldn't believe what she had just read. She wasn't supposed to read that letter, was she? Shikamaru sent that almost a year ago, but she's receiving it now. Why?

Temari was shocked with what was written inside that letter. This was a good sign, Shikamaru liked her, he loved her. But that was almost a year ago when she was with Yuuto. If only both of them would've said something, it would all be different now. At this moment, Temari isn't sure whether Shikamaru likes her or not. They haven't talked in a long time.

Temari closed her eyes and a tear fell off of her cheek, she took a deep breath while holding the letter near her heart. She then opened her top drawer and put that letter next to the rest of the letters she had from Shikamaru. She retained only the first letters, the ones that were cute and simple, not the pre meditated and cold letters, she then closed the drawer and stared blankly into nothingness.

It was now late at night, she finally had the courage to go out of her office, but instead of going to sleep, she went straight to her brothers. She didn't know what to do, those feelings he had for her could now be past, but what if they're not. She couldn't stay silent, not again.

She walked into Gaara's room with Kankurō on her side and explained the situation.

"I knew it!" Kankurō yelled as he clapped his hands as a sign of victory.

Temari and Gaara just stared at him, then laughed.

"I knew he loved you. I think it was so obvious that the only two people who weren't aware of it were you and him… and Gaara," Kankurō said.

"Thank you," Gaara answered as he chuckled.

"But what should I do?" Temari asked in a more serious tone, "I'm out of ideas. I don't know if he likes me now or not,"

"Ask him," Gaara suggested, "That was the problem since the beginning, your lack of communication and that you never talked about how you both felt,"

"Really? Gaara talking about feelings and communication skills," Kankurō said as he walked to the door, "too much,"

Kankurō opened the door and there was a shinobi from Suna with his fist up about to knock the door.

"Umm, goodnight. There's one shinobi that demands a document back," the shinobi said, standing tall and with his hands behind his back.

Temari walked to the shinobi and said, "That's with me. Most of the documents are complete, we're just missing a few more. That shinobi can't take back any documents, or else it's like their village is hiding some important information. Take me to the shinobi,"

Kankuro and Gaara stayed while Temari and the shinobi from Suna walked to the outside of the building where the other shinobi was. Temari was thinking about all the documents she had, and from where that shinobi could be. Her first guess was Kumogakure, mostly because the Raikage is always getting on her nerves. It wouldn't be weird for him to change his opinion on the chunin exams. Temari took a deep breath and hoped for the best when the doors from the entrance were opening, but nothing would've prepared her for this.


	14. Heart

**A/N: Sooo, this is the last chapter :(( I hope everyone enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks to everyone that supported this story and hope you like the ending, if you don't you can always write your own continuation of this story. Thanks xoxo**

The door opened revealing a silhouette she knew very well. It can't be. The shinobi turned around and also saw a very familiar silhouette. It was like destiny.

"I'll be around if you need anything," the shinobi from Suna said as he left both of them.

No words were spoken. There was a very long pause, and then she broke the silence, "What documents do you need?"

Temari was sure that the letter sent was not supposed to be there. He was here for that letter and not for any other document.

"It's umm, a red folder," the strategist from Konoha said, as he walked near to where Temari was. He could feel the tension, this awkwardness was worse than the one he experienced with Ino and her dad.

"Oh, it's in my office," she said. She started walking to where her office was, followed by Shikamaru, who was still feeling nervous.

They both entered the office, Shikamaru closed the door behind him and waited for the document to be handed in. The office was dark, the only thing that lit up the room was Temari's desk lamp that she left on a while ago.

Temari was just faking, she had taken out the letter from the document and she wasn't planning on giving it back.

"I can't find it," she said as she combed her bangs with her fingers. This was her perfect chance to take everything out of her chest.

"Fuck, we have to find it. I need it," he said as he looked around to see if there was anything like his folder.

"Like water," Temari said. This last sentence made Shikamaru's head turn, he stared at her shocked. "Yeah, like that horrible feeling when you're thirsty, but there's no water around," she stood with her arms crossed. This was the perfect sign.

"Did you—" Shikamaru was interrupted by the blonde kunoichi in front of him.

"Yeah," she nodded and then continued, "You should've told me," she said, uncrossing her arms. Lowkey, Shikamaru was glad she was the one who read it.

"It wouldn't have made any difference," he turned around and gave his back to Temari.

"Maybe it would've, but we don't know," she said, trying to look into Shikamaru's eyes but failing, he refused to look at her.

"I know it wouldn't have. You were with Yuuto," Shikamaru started to breath heavily, he was trying to hold back any anger or any tears.

"And you had history with almost every girl in Konoha," she raised her voice and started walking to where Shikamaru was to face him, "Why am I the bad one!?" she asked him, "I really have a hard time expressing what I feel and you've been making it more difficult," her voice cracked.

Shikamaru looked into her green eyes. Those beautiful eyes were turning red and it was his fault. He was the one who made that decision of taking some distance. He was the one who had been having problems with his life, and he was dragging Temari into them.

Shikamaru sighed.

"At first, I just wanted to have sex with you, just that. I was feeling really lonely, and I've always had a crush on you, but then you got into my brain, every time we talked, every time you smiled, every time you called my crybaby, every time you actually stayed beside me and helped me," Shikamaru started to get closer to Temari as she began to cry, "I don't know why, but you just did,"

Temari pushed Shikamaru away and now she was turning his back at him. He could hear her crying.

"I needed you, and you left," she said still not facing him.

"I'm sorry" he said, " I'm sorry I dragged you into all my problems" Shikamaru approached Temari slowly, "I'm sorry I can't express my feelings,"

Temari turned around, "I'm sorry about that too," was all she said.

Silence filled the room as both of them just stared at each other and she cleaned her tears.

"It's good to finally tell you everything," Shikamaru took a deep breath and started walking to the closed door, "So when is the wedding?" he asked, as he held the door knob, this was going to be his last question before leaving for good.

"Never," she answered.

Shikamaru released the door knob and turned to Temari, "What?"

"I'm not getting married,"

"Why not?" Shikamaru asked.

"'They' were trying to control me, it was all fake," Temari said, "Yuuto told me everything about their plan, and Gaara and I decided to end it," she smiled at Shikamaru.

"Oh, sorry to hear that. He was very likeable," he said.

"He is. He's a really nice guy," Temari made a quick pause, "You should thank him for this," she joked.

Shikamaru chuckled and answered, "I should send him a fruit basket,"

"Maybe a shogi a board," she laughed with still some tears in her eyes.

"Oh, that's better. He really needs to practice," Shikamaru laughed alongside Temari.

The laughs were followed by total silence, Temari took a deep breath and said, "I missed this. I missed you,"

Shikamaru walked to Temari and hugged her tightly. His hands around her neck, her face right on his chest. Temari held Shikamaru as if her life depended on it. They were so close she could hear his heartbeat. None of the other hugs they have had felt like this one. This one hug symbolised their reunion, their forgiveness and their love for each other. After several minutes of hugging they started to separate slowly. They paused when they were face to face. They gazed at each other, then Shikamaru started to move his hands to Temari's cheeks, he rubbed her cheeks with his thumbs and continued admiring her beautiful green eyes. Temari couldn't help but smile, she really loved that crybaby. Temari ran her hands up to Shikamaru's chest ended on his neck.

Shikamaru desired to kiss the troublesome woman in front of him. But he wasn't going to, he had just told her he only wanted to have sex with her at first. Maybe she would take this the wrong way. Shikamaru was, as always, overthinking everything, every small and little detail. To his surprise, it was her who did it. Temari held Shikamaru from his neck, and leaned towards him initiating the kiss. Shikamaru couldn't believe how good her lips tasted. He moved his hands to her tiny waist and held it like there was no tomorrow as their tongues explored each other's mouth.

They had both waited so long for this. The kiss went from a soft kiss to one full of desire, anger, sadness, passion, and every feeling they have had for the past times, but failed to express. A single tear was dropped by Temari. This moment was perfect, just them, alone.

When the kiss ended, they just looked at each other and laughed. They had finally demonstrated what they felt. They held each other again. Temari was still able to hear Shikamaru's heart, now it was pounding fast. Shikamaru kissed Temari on her forehead and held her for another moment.

Their beautiful moment was interrupted by Kankuro, who stormed into his sister's office revealing both of the lovers hugging each other.

"Oh, shit," Kankuro said. He was still holding the door knob, his face turned red, "sorry. I got worried, you didn't say who it was, and I thought maybe someone killed you or, or kidnapped you, but now I see I was wrong," Kankuro smiled at his sister and said, "You know? It's late, maybe he should stay,"

"No, I really shouldn't. I have things to do tomorrow," he answered as he kept on holding Temari.

Temari looked at Kankurō then turned to Shikamaru and said, "It's dangerous to return at night,"

Kankurō smiled and said, "Yeah, you can sleep in another room if you want. We're not forcing you to sleep with her,"

The troublesome woman and the crybaby looked at each other, they both thought about that weird comment, but that was enough for Shikamaru.

After convincing him to stay in Suna until tomorrow morning. Servants from the Kazekage prepared Shikamaru a room apart from Temari's. Even though she knew she would be visiting him in his room later, she had to sleep in a different bedroom than him. She walked him into his room and gave him a goodnight kiss. When she closed the door from Shikamaru's bedroom, Kankuro stood next to her and said, "He indeed is sexier than Yuuto," winked at her, then left.


End file.
